awkwardness in Applebee's

As I sit with my date in Applebee's,
I shuffle and dangle my keys,
to take my mind off the awkward silence,
that tramples upon my self-esteem with valence,
How should I tell her?
That I want to end it,
My words come out with a slur,
bit by bit.
She interrupts me and begins to say,
"Those curtains would look lovely by our bed in the day"
She goes on to say "for when we move in together"
I was struck dumb,
for our relationship could be toppled by a feather,
or even a crumb.
I mistakenly blurt out "what the crap you mean 'our bed'?"
I see a change in her eyes as if her rage had been generously fed.
She Leapt out of her chair and fell onto the waiter,
"Get out of my way you peasant twit of a hater!"
She struggled to get up causing her dress to rip,
when I looked at the bill and said "what a gyp".
With a banshee-like scream she threw at me a knife,
it came at me with such speed I had no time to react,
but luckily she missed me by the width of a fife.
The lady behind me who dearly loved her cat,
lost her temper and attacked my crazy date,
at which point I left the diner to avoid a terrible fate.